« February 2008 | Main | June 2008 »

March 2008

March 19, 2008

IT'S OFFICIAL : I AM ILLEGAL

THE NEW YORK TIMES

March 20, 2008

British Memoirist Is Denied U.S. Entry

By MOTOKO RICH

Sebastian Horsley, a British author who has written an eyebrow-raising memoir detailing a life of rampant drug use and voluminous encounters with prostitutes, was turned back at Newark Liberty International Airport on Tuesday as he tried to enter the United States for a book party and New York news media tour.

Mr. Horsley, whose memoir, “Dandy in the Underworld,” was published last week in paperback by Harper Perennial, a unit of HarperCollins, said he was detained by United States customs authorities for eight hours and questioned about his former drug addiction, use of prostitutes and activity as a male escort.

“I’m absolutely shattered and upset and gutted about not being able to come to America,” Mr. Horsley said in a telephone interview from London, where he had returned on Wednesday. “I was very much looking forward to meeting everybody.”

Lucille Cirillo, a spokeswoman for the New York office of United States Customs and Border Protection, said she could not comment on specific cases. But in an e-mail message, she said that under a waiver program that allows British citizens to enter the United States without a visa, “travelers who have been convicted of a crime involving moral turpitude (which includes controlled-substance violations) or admit to previously having a drug addiction are not admissible.”

In “Dandy of the Underworld” Mr. Horsley, who is notorious in Britain, writes of being raised by alcoholic, sexually promiscuous parents and bouncing through several schools. He details a debauched life of cocaine, heroin, opium and amphetamine use, writing that he spent more than £100,000 (nearly $200,000) on crack cocaine and £100,000 to consort with more than 1,000 prostitutes. He also chronicles his trip to the Philippines to be hung from a cross, an event that was recorded by a photographer and videographer and formed part of an art exhibition that was extensively covered by the news media in his home country.

Carrie Kania, publisher of Harper Perennial, said Mr. Horsley’s party, which was scheduled for Wednesday in Manhattan, would go on without him. “I believe this book is very important,” Ms. Kania said. “It certainly moved me, and we’re going to continue to back it 100 percent.”

British public records are not available in the United States, and it was not possible to verify independently many of the details in Mr. Horsley’s memoir.

In interviews, though, he has been repeatedly coy about what is real and what is contrived. “It’s better to be quotable than honest,” he told Time Out London in February. In an interview with The Independent last September, he said: “I don’t speak, I quote. I am a fraud. I have cobbled together my personality from hundreds of little bits. I am simultaneously the most genuine and the most artificial person you will ever meet.”

In his interview with The New York Times on Wednesday, Mr. Horsley insisted the memoir was true. “I’m a dandy, so I like to play with words,” he said. “I am real, but in an artificial way, because I like to play with language. But my story is completely true.”

Ms. Kania said that the book, published in Britain in September by an imprint of Hodder Headline, had been through a “lengthy legal review” by the British publisher. But Harper did not independently fact-check it.

Mr. Horsley said he was surprised he was deported, since he had previously traveled to the United States six times, twice to visit relatives in Boston and four times to New York.

“God bless America, land of the free, but sadly not the land of the depraved,” he said. He referred to the recent resignation of Eliot Spitzer, the former governor of New York, in the wake of revelations that he had frequented prostitutes. “I’m not a politician, I’m an artist,” Mr. Horsley said. “Depravity is part of the job description.”

He added that he regarded his memoir as “a very moral book in the same way that Bret Easton Ellis’s ‘American Psycho’ was a moral book.” He added, “I’m not a bad person.”

Jack Begg contributed reporting.

March 12, 2008

MY GOD WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO AMERICA - A WOMAN, A NIGGER AND NOW SEBASTIAN HORSLEY!

My book Dandy in the Underworld came out across America yesterday. 31 years ago Marc Bolan’s album Dandy in the Underworld was released on the same day. Its for you Marc.

America is going potty. TV shows. New York Times Book Review, Village Voice, whole page in the LA Times. And much much more. I am so tired. Of being admired. I have been offering myself gift wrapped to the world. Every day for the last two months I have been either interviewed, filmed or photographed. Even I am getting bored of talking about myself. I fear I am an amateur narcissist after all. I am sure it won't last and I shall finally give in to my narcissism and marry myself.

Does Christ never get tired of bleeding? I’m sure he does - but the show must go on.

I arrive in the USA next week. God knows how they shall take me. Does getting shot hurt? Actually, I am sure the marksman will be dazzled by the sight of me and consequently miss.

In truth if I do not return it will only be because I have been murdered by love. Like Quentin I have always felt American in my artificial heart. We are all English at puberty; we die American.

I’ve always felt the book would do better over there. I hate Britain’s rugged will to lose. In America, they love a loser turned winner as much as we love the opposite. As St Quentin knew : it is because of our hearts. The English have shrivelled hearts. The Americans plump, peachy, warm ones. Success in England inspires only envy. In America : hope.

It is because life for the Americans is always becoming, never being.

It is because of the cruelty of England and the generosity of America. In America people will only come to see you if they like you, if they wish you well. In England they will come because they despise you, to laugh at you.

It is because Americans are unafraid of being positive.

Poor old England ; sometimes negativity don’t pull you through.

I broadcast to 12 million of the US nation this week. Harper tell me that all Things Considered is probably the biggest radio show in all of the US.

The lady producer liked me

I said to her :

“Can I get my cock out on live radio?”

There was a deadly silence. “Oh No” I thought! “I’ve have blown it!”

Then suddenly she said :

Awesome.”

12 million yanks is like one brilliant Brit really isn't it? Me. You see, what is good about England is that it prepares you for the world. Censure and criticism never hurt anybody. If false, they can’t hurt you unless you are a wimp, and if true, they show a man his weak points, and forewarn him against failure and trouble. It is through the snipers and vipers that we develop ourselves. Only the best get through so by the time we arrive in America we are ready to rule the world.

And rule it I shall. I have lost my reins and shall begin my reign. I am off to America for a week. I am sure everyone will be expecting me to go by boat and as I sail through the harbour, 'Wilde-like,' announce, 'I have nothing declare but my genius.' But I am not Oscar Wilde.

No darling, Whoresley-like I shall announce, “I have nothing to declare but my genitals.”

“My heinous, genius, penis.”

Bon Mot Voyage

March 01, 2008

ALL PETS ARE FLUSHABLE

The mice are back. I guess it is that time of year. I have to say I don’t mind them. When I was on heroin I would just lie in bed all day staring at my big toe. They realised that the Lord of the house was…well, indisposed. They got cockier and cockier. They would come out and dance in front of me and eat my Kraft cheese squares. And then one day suddenly they disappeared. I don't know what happened to them. Maybe the rats ate them?

I always feel that they have as much right to this place as me. But then shouldn't they be helping with the mortgage payments? Last year after two sleepless nights I decided to get traps. I set them up with cheese and biscuits. Within half an hour an hour I heard the satisfying crack as the wire smashed the brittle crust of its neck.

The big male mouse was dead. It's little head to one side, blood oozed onto the floor. Ten minutes later the female lay dead by his side.

My first thought was : Fucking hell - are mice that stupid? "Oh there's my husband dead with his head in a trap. Fuck it, I'm hungry." Or maybe it was it suicide? Dogs sometimes commit suicide usually by drowning or by refusing food, for a number of reasons - generally when the animal is cast out from the household, but also from regret or remorse or even sheer ennui. Animal suicide of these kinds is capable of being regarded as a manifestation of intelligence.

I felt terrible. I was a murderer. I was overcome with remorse.

I could see the headlines : "Prince of Darkness Slays Mouse."  "Dracula Gets Mouse Counselling."

I guess I could have done it differently. A friend of mine set the humane traps. Two of them. In the morning she thought she had caught one. Set a mouse free. Off it ran, straight into my house no doubt. Then a few days later she realized there had been another mouse in the other trap. It had starved to death.

I’m not sure what to do this time. I could get a cat? But after it had eaten the mice what then would I do with it? I guess a cat has got nine lives - which makes them ideal for experimentation.

Surely I can get rid of the mice by telling them I want a long-term relationship?