All you need to be a successful prophet is to be a profound pessimist. Everything will get worse. We're in a sewage pipe baby. We're going to have to crawl along it until we die. “Oh, but what about Obama?” I hear you squeal. A black at the White House! He's no more black than you or me. Everyone's coloured, or you wouldn't be able to see them. He's half-black half-white. Must be confusing for the cunt. Doesn't know whether to rob you or shoot you. Don't be fooled. Men who have greatness within them don't go in for politics. He's just another white at the Black House
My fate lies not in the stars but in a star – myself .
I am sure my triumphs in the coming New Year will be as short-lived as my resolutions.
My New Year's resolution: to prove physically in front of an audience that male sheep cannot get pregnant. Fuck you. Good night.